JANUARY 22ND, 2020

I **** *** **** ** ****** *****
Listening to Pencey Prep
In the elementary school playground
By the shed that was always off limits
next to the graveyeard
we watched the sunset
- B.H.

JANUARY 23RD, 2020

I'll fall in love with you over and over again,
no matter what form you take.
You're kind, you're too good for me, but I don't care.
Just hold me a bit longer before it all
F. A. D. E. S.
I've forgotten you already
- B.H.

JANUARY 25TH, 2020: TAKE TWO

I'm a weak little puppy dog. submissive and whiny. coerced as the car speeds, the cd player skips as soon as you say it my heart drops.
silence
stains that have accumulated on this sweater. how long has it been? the wind slices through. I am yours. The sounds of the sheets and the CRT buzzing. You aren't as distant as you seem. I still think of you when I look up at the stars. Dripping blood.
Caprice
What is it that you hunger for? I can give you all you want. It'll be our own little valentines in July, cherry lollipops and all, babe. Murder. Martyr. you want me vulnerable? I'll give you vulnerability. ****** unadulterated vulnerability. - B.H.

JANUARY 26TH, 2020

Read between the lines, what do you see? My eyes blled and I freeze. Unnescessary aggression. Unnescessary feelings. the whole nine yards. cover me in silt and mildew. you notice it too, right? you've seen it all this time, you've known all along. so then why? - B.H.

JANUARY 28TH, 2020

I am the acid sting. the hole in the wall. hear me scream. peel the plaster, you're all bark and no bite. I'm all bite and no bark. I am the fallen angel who spits on the skull of those who damage the damned. Retribution. murkey masochism and sharp daggers. Splintering ********* and corrosive cotton balls. I am the acid sting. The sticky dark ooze that came out of jennifer check's throat. the out***** the dull satin and acne scars on a tuesday night. - B.H.

JANUARY 28TH, 2020

Emerging from the quilt covers, followed by the scenery of the interior of a black '03 car. The smell of cherry air freshner and impending freedom. Prospective love and and gameboy color screens the end of an era and new beginnings. it feels like fresh homemade pie wrapped in a gingham ribbon, placed on your windowsill. so you can notice it and eat it as your lungs breath and you cherish your times together, your successes, your future ventures.
cheers, cellmate.

FEBRUARY 14TH, 2020

awoken to sticky strawberry syrup, I check on you a thousand times. The train leaves the station and the the wind blows through the windows as I bid adieu. Your scarf flitters in the wind. I keep this dagger on me just in case. You stumblr, cry, streak and lie. I keep this dagger just in case. Just in case I need to protect you.

FEBRUARY 14TH, 2020

Rain falls and embers flicker. He says he's alright, but he posts a link to floridap lates. Why is he keeping this from me? He who resembles him, embraces me so tightly, He'll crush my bones! rust on the merry-go-round, wet sand, broken loom bracelets, smoky skies.He afflicts me like poplar fluff.

MARCH 17TH, 2020

The sap that seeps between your joints reminds me that we're not owed anything. I sit and watch the dust accumulate. Wooden grandma chairs and chiptune bleeps. How now, bleach stains? The texture of mushrooms throw me off. I'mstarting to live, but it looks like i'm expected to die.

APRIL 11TH, 2020

The dry grass surrounds railroad tracks crunching under my feet. The snow melts away revealing the darkness of the abyss and forgotten memories from our youth, sprinkled in with things that only feel false. Cigarette smoke as the PS2 hums. Ball chain necklaces and pepsie as we watch late night cartoons, those badass ones from Japan. A hasty rough embrace as days with them are shifted into days with the PSP. sad****

MAY 14TH, 2020

Old paper. Water damage. Rushed amid the time we run in the pelting rain. The flooding reminded us of the vampire hisses and our future unsurmountability shown infront of us.

JUNE 1ST, 2020

You don't believe I'm worthy, but I'll prove it. Wired powerlines. If only I felt your touch. WAKE UP. You're clueless.

JULY 17TH, 2020

I feel the clay in a white void. You reach out as the paint peels and I've brought the alarm flute, but I''m already falling

JULY 22ND, 2020

I would lie there lifeless.
While teasing and backcombing my twintails hair I would lie there lifeless and think of all the scars. Naked and out of this world. lying unintentionally because I had presented myself in a way that I was lying to myself. Twirling in miniskirts I would
Collapse.
and lie there lifeless.